Happy Birthday, Big Man!!!!

Today we celebrate the birthday of an extraordinary young man. He is an exceptional big brother, and a wonderful son. To say that I am proud of him is an understatement. I love him and cherish him. He is a part of my heart and my soul, and I am so very honored that he became a part of my life and I, a part of his.

On the day he was born I nervously watched as the mid-wife turned and twisted him, trying to get him 'unwrapped' and cleaned up. I didn't think we were ever going to hear him cry, but once he started, he decided he wasn't going to stop. He wanted the world to know he was here. And he decided to shout it to the mountain tops. When they gave him to me I thought for sure he would break just by touching him. I took him over to his mother and laid him down with her and we sang 'Happy Birthday' as he nestled into her neck. He looked right at me. He stared straight into my eyes and I knew then that I was hooked. He had me wrapped around his finger. I still am today.

Being our first born he was full of lessons, wonders, and surprises. We had been told during the entire pregnancy that all he would do was eat, sleep, and poop. Well, two out of three ain't bad. He ate like a horse, pooped like a goose, but as for sleep; he wanted none of it. He was wide awake and wanted to stay that way. He wanted to see everybody and be a part of everything. He didn't want to miss anything. EVER. All he needed was a two hour power nap and he was ready for more.

On his first day of school his mother and I decided that we should follow the bus to school and be there for him when he got off. As he walked down the steps of the bus he looked so big. I couldn't wait to hug him and tell him just how proud I was of him. He looked at me with the most beautiful smile, and knowing that I was on the verge of tears, he said, "I love you Daddy, everything will be alright". It turned out that he was there for me.

I have cherished every moment with him. From helping him learn to ride a two wheeler, coaching his T-ball team, to watching him become a big brother. (By the way, he was sure that his mother was having a dinosaur and NOT a baby brother). Watching him learn, hearing him laugh and holding him while he cried. Making the 'monster spray', becoming the wrestling mat, holding him up when the water got above his knees, helping him splash in the tub and just watching him while he slept. All of these moments I wouldn't trade for the world. I wouldn't give them up for anything. They are tucked away in my heart so that someday, if I'm lucky, I will get to share them with his children.

He has grown so much over the past 11 years. It has gone by so fast. I miss that little guy with the big head that wanted to go everywhere I went. That wanted to do everything that I did. That wanted to 'help' me with anything that I may have been working on. Those big, beautiful, green eyes staring back at me with an unconditional love that I had never felt before. He has taught me what true, unending love really is. Watching him develop into the fine young man that he is undoubtedly going to be gives me a feeling of pride that I can not explain. His fun loving nature, his caring and compassionate heart along with his hilarious sense of humor make him an amazing young man that I just can't get enough of.

Happy Birthday, Big Man. I hope you have a wonderful day today. I hope you know that I love you and I am so proud to be your father. I hope you understand these words I have here for you are words of love, pride and respect for all that you have taught me. I hope you have a long and happy life, and I hope that one day you will look into the eyes of your little one and finally be able to understand what love is meant to be.

Angel Of Fire

I have been working on this picture for about 2 weeks now. I needed it to be as close to perfect as I could make it. This drawing is very important to me because I drew this in honor of someone that means a great deal to me.

I have called her my hero, my one, my goddess, but she is, for sure, my angel. She is not like any other angel you will find. She will not coddle you and make feel warm and fuzzy because you just did something stupid. She won't sit around and tell you that everything is going to be alright when there is a good chance that it isn't. She won't turn the other cheek or back down from someone just because they need to feel tough. She won't try to make someone feel good about themselves just because they need and ego boost. She will not stand for any disrespect at any time. She definitely believes is doling out 'tough love'.

She will always be there when you need her. She will defend her family to the very end. She will stand in defiance to anyone/anything that tries to do them harm in ANY way. She has stood by me while the world caved in around me and never let go of my hand. She offered a calming voice that drowned out all of the screams that filled my head. She stood by me while I battled demon after demon and never let me forget that I had the strength to win. She stands by me today. She is still holding on to me. She is very much like this picture. She is an angel of fire. That fire can keep you warm or , if need be, she can set you ablaze.

She is beautiful, smart, strong, funny (although not as funny as she may think at times), brave, sexy, fragile, never weak, and in a word, perfect. She is my everything and the main source of balance I have. I have called her my rock in the past, but she is more than that. She has fought tooth and nail to keep the four people that matter most to me with in arms reach and has asked for nothing in return by my love, loyalty and respect. I gladly offer them to her. Freely and without disdain. She is MY knight in shinning armor. I treasure her.

We have been together for over 3 years and are not getting along very well right now because there is just so much stress wrapped around us almost all the time. But our love is holding us together. I drew this picture for her to let her know that my thoughts and feelings for her have not changed. They are still there and stronger than ever. I want her to know that I am truly sorry for any pain I have brought into her life. I never intended to hurt her. I never will hurt her again.

Some people might read this and think that it is too sappy. That these are just a bunch of words typed in to make people go 'awwww'. Or that this is just another stupid 'I love you' post. To those people I say you have never felt this woman's love. For if you had, you would surely sit back and nod your head as you read this and think to yourself, "He's right, she's all of that and more".

I hope you understand that the words I have here for you are words of love, respect and admiration. You are and will always be my hero, my lover, my partner, my best friend, my one, my angel. We DO have a relationship. I can't promise that the things around us will ever get better, but I will promise that I can do better to show you just how much you mean to me.

I Love You.